The
Responsibility Game
The
purpose of this game is to help you take more
responsibility in all areas of your life. After
all, if YOU aren't taking responsibility, who
is???
And
while most people would intellectually agree
that they must take responsibility for their
actions, most people also fall into habitual
thought patterns that cause them to pretend
they’re not in control of their situation, and
therefore not responsible for their
circumstances.
The
reason we do this is to keep ourselves
emotionally safe, but it rarely has the ability
to bring about anything positive. In contrast,
it usually keeps us in a state of ‘victimhood’.
The 3
main ways we duck responsibility are by shaming,
blaming and justifying.
Shaming: This is generally
anger/resentment/disappointment turned inward.
If you find that you’re beating yourself up over
mistakes you’ve made, traits you don’t have,
circumstances you’ve created, etc., you’re
living in a state of shame.
Shaming
yourself hardly ever has the ability to help you
control your actions to get the results you’re
beating yourself over not getting! A vicious
cycle.
Blaming: This is when we pretend we don’t
have the ability to respond by blaming other
people, environments, or anything that’s not
ourselves.
Even if
it’s true that someone else’s decisions lead to
your lack of results, by the fact that you’re
using them as an excuse, you’re giving them the
power of controlling your life and creating your
dreams. I really suggest you don’t do that! I
say pretend that everything is your
responsibility, so you can be the one who has
the power to change it.
Justifying: This one can include one or
both of the above, and typically comes packaged
with the words ‘but’ or ‘because’.
So to
play The Responsibility Game, I draw this simple
diagram:
RESPONSIBILITY
=====================
SHAME
BLAME
JUSTIFY
The
only rule of the game is that whenever you’re
operating ‘below the line’, regardless of
whether you say it out loud or not, you owe $2
into the pot (which is later given to a local
charity).
And pretty soon, you’ll be monitoring and
changing your thoughts and language like never
before. (or you’ll be broke!)
Examples of shaming, blaming &
justifying statements:
~ “I
can’t recruit anybody because everyone in my
neighborhood is poor.”
~ “I
would have made the phone calls, but my husband
lost the paper with all the numbers!”
~ “I
should have reached my goals, but none of my
team members are working the business the way
they said they would.”
And the
list goes on and on and on…
If you
want to take control of your life, you must
operate from a state of 100% responsibility.
"Why" vs. "What"
One way
you can stay in responsibility is to ask
yourself “What can I do…” questions
instead of “Why…” questions. “Why”
is simply explorative, usually leading to a
cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. “What”
is action-based, always leading to something you
can DO about your situation.
For
instance, “Why isn’t anyone buying products
over the holidays?” becomes “What can I
do to increase my holiday sales?”
“Why
isn’t anybody joining the business?” becomes
“What can I do to better my recruiting ratio?”
“Why
won’t my team members do what they say they’re
going to do?” becomes “What kind of
magnet must I use to attract serious business
builders?”
As
simple as this sounds, it is HUGE! Remember,
your mind will always answer any question
that you pose, so ask yourself questions that
will lead to actions. You’ll have much
better clarity and you’ll be able to focus on
what to DO instead of focusing on why
you’re stuck (that usually just keeps you
stuck).
So
monitor whether you’re above or below the line
when faced with a challenge and watch how much
easier it is to get yourself out of it.
And as
always, ENJOY THE JOURNEY!
SS
P.S.
This is a GREAT game to teach children!
;-)
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