3 Steps to Getting Rid of the
Guilt
As
home based business owners, you understand that
there are challenges as well as benefits to this
work style arrangement. And one of the biggest
challenges my clients bring to our coaching
sessions is feeling guilty while they’re working
because they’re not with their family, and then
they feel guilty when they’re with their family
because they’re not working – what a vicious
cycle!
To
be honest I personally used to think there were
no simple solutions to separate work from home
life when they are so closely intertwined. But
there are, if you’re clear about your values and
your purpose. I want to give you some tips on
how to avoid the guilt, but first, let’s talk
about where the guilt comes from.
We
usually create guilt when we’ve made a choice
that offends our values – the things that are
most important to us. For example, let’s say
it’s 10 AM on a Saturday morning and I’m home
with my family (which is rare). I can choose to
spend time with them, or I can choose to check
emails, make phone calls, and do other business
related activities. Sometimes when I make the
decision to check emails, about 5 minutes into
it, I’ll start to feel guilty. Sound familiar?
Always remember that whenever you say ‘yes’ to
anything, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else.
And quite often when we are trying to please
others, or trying to get our work done, we’re
saying ‘no’ to our highest values. Therefore,
the guilt comes.
Guilt is such a big issue for home-based
business owners, especially if you have a
family, and it’s a very unproductive feeling.
So if this is something you struggle with, here
are 3 tips to avoiding the guilt:
1)
Get clear on your purpose for working your
business. The main reason people feel
guilty about working their businesses is because
they unconsciously feel like it’s taking time
away from the things that are more important to
them – hobbies, family, etc.
But if you know what your purpose in life is,
and making money with your business supports
that purpose, it will be much easier to give
yourself permission to invest the time into your
business.
2)
Create a specific schedule that accounts for
fulfilling your highest values. The main
reason we actually feel the guilt is because on
a deeper level, we believe we might not give
ourselves the time to spend on the things that
are more important. For instance, if you have
children, your guilt is usually that you’re
spending time away from them INSTEAD of spending
time with them.
However, if you have a time already set aside
for playing with your kids, you know that’ll
happen, so it’ll again be much easier to give
yourself permission to work your business now,
and play with them later. These are called
values-based boundaries and they are extremely
healthy and productive.
3)
Stick to the schedule! As simple as this
one sounds, it’s huge! More important than just
scheduling the time for your values is actually
proving to yourself that you’ll do what you say
you’re going to do.
You absolutely MUST stick to your schedule so
you’ll believe yourself going forward. If you
know you’ll probably not keep your commitment,
the guilt will still plague you for sure. The
more you believe your own schedule, the easier
it will be to keep the boundaries.
I’m very clear, and so is my wife, about what my
purpose is on this planet – to empower people
with the tools to take their lives to the Next
Level. That’s the main reason we’re okay with
me spending so much time on the road right now.
But at the same time, I also know that I have
the ability to spend quality time with my family
during the week, which helps take the sting off
of spending so much time away on the weekends.
(Plus, it’s almost always less crowded when we
go have fun on a Tuesday versus a Saturday.)
And finally, I’m actually scheduling and keeping
the appointments with my family so I know that
it’s okay to work when I need to work because
I’m going to play when I want to play!
One other thing that I think a lot of parents
overlook – by following my passion and living my
highest value, significance, I’m teaching my
kids something very important. You can’t tell
your kids, or anyone else for that matter, to
live their dreams if you’re not doing it
yourself.
So
get clear on what your truest values are, and
make time to fulfill them. It’s the only way
for you to stay energized and keep your cup
full, so you can help more people and enjoy the
journey along the way.
SS
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